In a relationship with Bane

This morning I was talking to Katrina about the new Mad Max and how...attractive Tom Hardy is. We eventually got to discussing Bane. Katrina said that they didn't do a good job dubbing him because she found it hard to understand what he was saying. I said I wasn't listening when he was speaking..., because I was busy imagining how it would be being in a relationship with Bane.

As you do. 

So here we are. 

-'Why do you never cook for me?'

-'Well, you never cook for me either. I can't eat. I have to get my nutrition intravenously [I imagine]. End of topic.' 

-'You do realise there will be no kissing. Any kind of kissing.' 

-'Why don't we spend more time together?'

-'Batman always comes first. You knew that before we got together, honey.'

-'...speaking of coming -'

Well, no thank you. 

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